“Surrender” is the word of the day~
As I slid into meditation this morning I was reminded of this journal entry from an experience I had when I first arrived in Spain as a spiritual warrior ….
At last, I snuggle into my long awaited bed, but sleep eludes me. My mind is squirreling in a hundred different directions. I toss and turn. I fluff my pillow, and re-tuck the covers around me a million times.
Eventually I feel myself being pulled deep within, deeper and deeper. . .
In a hovering mist an old woman materializes with skin like a prune. Bent over her cane she takes one gingerly step after another until she precariously lowers herself onto the mossy forest floor. After shifting several times to find a spot of comfort, she crooks her finger motioning me toward her.
Looking straight into my eyes, she speaks, “It is I, Courage, come to your rescue again. Whenever you need me, I’m always available, forever hiding in the depths of you. Oh, how many times you have called upon me. You, who always place yourself in situations that need me most. We have fought so many battles together. Oh, how many have there been? I have been used and abused so many times, in so many lifetimes on this planet.” Her eyes are aglow. “Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for all of your work and all that we’ve accomplished. But now I’m tired, so very very tired. We have walked arm-in-arm for so long. You, who always needs to win. You, who is never willing to surrender and just find a nice shady tree to sit under.” Her chest collapses as she sends out a weak puff of air.
“Well, the fight is over. Things have changed. The courage being called upon now is to surrender. It’s the courage of acknowledging and honoring each individual as sovereign. A courage that takes less effort and yields much better results. Oh, our prior actions were appropriate, so do not judge the past. Fortunately, things have evolved.
“Now I sit content under the branches of the Tree of Life and most humbly ask you to join me.” With a gnarled hand she pats a cushion of moss beside her. “Come, dear one, surrender to Love. Just allow yourself to melt into my arms and sink into my lap. Surrender to Love, surrender to peace, surrender to your heart. The battle is over. We are safe and secure. You have come Home to where nothing can ever harm you again. Now place your head in my lap and release all your unshed tears. Then rest, divine one, rest before you take up your pack and reinitiate your journey of enlightenment.
“Don’t look back. Don’t look beyond. Whatever is going on out there is no longer your concern. It all needs to play itself out with everyone in his or her chosen role. Honor them and allow them that courtesy. You and I, we are here in the present moment to rest, relax, and enjoy this sacred space in the sanctuary of the heart.
“With time, those who choose to surrender to their hearts shall find us. So if you’re searching for a new job, your application is graciously accepted. We desperately need new role models who know how to live from the sanctuary of their heart. You have struggled to find it, now settle in and don’t allow anything or anyone to draw you from it. That will benefit no one. No one. Now, simply rest and sink into your heart space, for this is your sacred gift to everyone in search of peace, love and harmony.
Moving into expanded consciousness we’re drifting into a new dimensional space. Here the style of work changes. Everything is accomplished through the pathways of the heart. You’ll find peace in the completion of your current life and realize that joining in the dramas of the old world will result in nothing more than proliferating imbalanced emotions. By remaining grounded in your heart you become strong and courageous by effortlessly radiating an aura of love, compassion and harmony. So, I ask: Will you join me in a bit of a holiday as we sit together under this blessed tree and take pleasure in a newly realized world?”
I gaze deeply into her eyes relaying my unspoken words before I embrace her wispy body with a loving hug and words of gratitude. A soothing hum rises from her chest like a bee in search of honey. As she rocks me, stroking my silken hair like a mother, I surrender to contentment. Sweet, sweet contentment.
The woman who emerges from her lap is a different person. She is strong in her feminine grace and elegance, aware that her strength comes from within not from any of her undertakings. Her way of moving through the world is innate, no longer rash and compulsive but gentle, methodical and full of grace, accomplishing more than she ever could have in her multi-tasking aggressiveness. Her need to compete is diminished. Her winning is within, no longer measured by the outside world.
Tears accumulate as I recognize this radiant gentle woman exuding love and compassion. Her face is my face. How many years of trauma has it taken to finally realize this? I celebrate my awakening and embrace the self that lives within. Even if I do nothing more on this planet, I am content. I have accomplished what I thought was impossible. The never-ending search is over. I am Home with the Beloved. I have found within myself a person I love and admire. It is here that peace lies. I am that peace as I slide into welcomed sleep.
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Excerpt from “Revelations of Love: Black Madonna Diaries, Vol I” by Sharon Lyn Shepard
available in paperback and ebook @ www.amazon.com/author/sharonlynshepard
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